... and slightly insulted that the only party hats we had were of the Dora variety.
(Apparently Dora stops being cool at age six.)
Happy Birthday, Grace.
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(Apparently Dora stops being cool at age six.)
Happy Birthday, Grace.
******************************************
For posterity's sake- because maybe one day I'll print this blog out in book-ish form & call it a journal (because HOLY COW am I bad at journaling & have massive guilt about not keeping very good ones- all those PRESHUS MEMORIES! GONE!) ... Here is the story of Grace.
Eric & I had been married less than a year when we decided that some kids might be a good idea. So we started doing responsible things- we bought a house with a big yard and extra bedrooms, we had good health insurance, we researched car seats & minivans- but did not get pregnant. And then did not get pregnant some more. And it sucked (I will not go into detail about just how bad it sucked- suffice it to say it really, REALLY sucked.) I went to many, many doctors, and got many, many tests and finally found a doctor & diagnosis and a Plan. And somehow we managed to finally stay pregnant- 2 1/2 years later. At first our doctor said to not gt our hopes up- my hormone levels were all wacky and there was a very good chance that things would not work out well, but they did. And after 4 months of constant pills and evil blood draws, we were declared officially On Our Way. And everything was fine- there was no puking and I felt absolutely great (during this time, massive amounts of McDonalds cheeseburgers were eaten. Really embarrassing amounts, actually.)
About six months along, I started to get high blood pressure. And it kept getting higher. And then I got put on bed rest, which was (in retrospect) not so bad. I read books and watched movies and my mom would come over & make sure I wasn't getting up & running marathons or anything. Then the blood pressure got a little worse, and I had to spend a few nights in the hospital here & there, but it wasn't too terrible.
And then, when I was 36 weeks along, it got really bad. I had to go to the doctor twice a week for blood tests and stress tests, and this time I flunked. I was put back in the hospital & told I would not be leaving until I was un-pregnant. So they started my induction on a wednesday and put me on nasty drugs to keep my blood pressure down, and we waited.
On thursday, still nothing. More nasty drugs, some talk about a c-section, finally an epidural- no baby. (I actually do not remember this day, but that's what Eric tells me. The drugs really wacked me out.) Also, this was our 4th anniversary (Eric brought balloons.)
On friday, we were finally getting somewhere. By late afternoon I was pushing. My epidural stopped working on one side (that I DO remember!) and other stuff started to go wrong. The baby's heart rate was not looking good. My blood pressure was off the charts. It was nasty.
Finally we were ready for delivery- they brought in the Neonatal ICU team and some other specialists. There were a million-ish people in the room. Grace was finally delivered- limp and purple. She was not breathing and her heart rate was in the 40's. The nurse's hit buttons and called emergency codes and they ran her out of the room. Eric looked at me & I remember saying "GO" and he went. They intubated her in the elevator on the way to the ICU. She was put on a breathing machine.
I was not able to see her for the next day and a half. Apparently I was still at risk for having a stroke and kept passing out, so I was kept on the nasty drugs and not allowed out of bed. I remember blurry polaroids being brought up to my room by NICU nurses of Grace hooked up to the ventilator and a million other tubes and wires. Doctors told us they were not sure of the outcome. Eventually they were "cautiously optimistic" that she would survive. Then they were "cautiously optimistic" that she did not have massive brain injuries. She was taken off the ventilator & was breathing on her own.
I was finally able to see her. The first time I held her, she was still connected to all sorts of machines and monitors. The heart monitor flatlined and all sorts of alarms went off & I thought I had killed her. Turned out she had just came unhooked (I still was mildly hysterical for a while.) She wasn't able to eat on her own for several days, so I couldn't feed her. She blew out the IV's in her arms and ended up with lines in her head. She was fabulously beautiful.
Grace should someday know how amazing Eric was during all this- he was absolutely unwavering in his faith that everything would be fine. He mastered all the NICU monitors and knew all the nurses names. He called his family and friends and bragged about how perfect his daughter was (no-one really congratulated us or sent flowers- as one crazy aunt told me, everyone was afraid she would die, and then what would we do with the flowers?). He got angry when we were treated insensitively. He got up every single hour, every single night to check oh her. He was brave enough for both of us.
Grace- 3 weeks old
Eric & I had been married less than a year when we decided that some kids might be a good idea. So we started doing responsible things- we bought a house with a big yard and extra bedrooms, we had good health insurance, we researched car seats & minivans- but did not get pregnant. And then did not get pregnant some more. And it sucked (I will not go into detail about just how bad it sucked- suffice it to say it really, REALLY sucked.) I went to many, many doctors, and got many, many tests and finally found a doctor & diagnosis and a Plan. And somehow we managed to finally stay pregnant- 2 1/2 years later. At first our doctor said to not gt our hopes up- my hormone levels were all wacky and there was a very good chance that things would not work out well, but they did. And after 4 months of constant pills and evil blood draws, we were declared officially On Our Way. And everything was fine- there was no puking and I felt absolutely great (during this time, massive amounts of McDonalds cheeseburgers were eaten. Really embarrassing amounts, actually.)
About six months along, I started to get high blood pressure. And it kept getting higher. And then I got put on bed rest, which was (in retrospect) not so bad. I read books and watched movies and my mom would come over & make sure I wasn't getting up & running marathons or anything. Then the blood pressure got a little worse, and I had to spend a few nights in the hospital here & there, but it wasn't too terrible.
And then, when I was 36 weeks along, it got really bad. I had to go to the doctor twice a week for blood tests and stress tests, and this time I flunked. I was put back in the hospital & told I would not be leaving until I was un-pregnant. So they started my induction on a wednesday and put me on nasty drugs to keep my blood pressure down, and we waited.
On thursday, still nothing. More nasty drugs, some talk about a c-section, finally an epidural- no baby. (I actually do not remember this day, but that's what Eric tells me. The drugs really wacked me out.) Also, this was our 4th anniversary (Eric brought balloons.)
On friday, we were finally getting somewhere. By late afternoon I was pushing. My epidural stopped working on one side (that I DO remember!) and other stuff started to go wrong. The baby's heart rate was not looking good. My blood pressure was off the charts. It was nasty.
Finally we were ready for delivery- they brought in the Neonatal ICU team and some other specialists. There were a million-ish people in the room. Grace was finally delivered- limp and purple. She was not breathing and her heart rate was in the 40's. The nurse's hit buttons and called emergency codes and they ran her out of the room. Eric looked at me & I remember saying "GO" and he went. They intubated her in the elevator on the way to the ICU. She was put on a breathing machine.
I was not able to see her for the next day and a half. Apparently I was still at risk for having a stroke and kept passing out, so I was kept on the nasty drugs and not allowed out of bed. I remember blurry polaroids being brought up to my room by NICU nurses of Grace hooked up to the ventilator and a million other tubes and wires. Doctors told us they were not sure of the outcome. Eventually they were "cautiously optimistic" that she would survive. Then they were "cautiously optimistic" that she did not have massive brain injuries. She was taken off the ventilator & was breathing on her own.
I was finally able to see her. The first time I held her, she was still connected to all sorts of machines and monitors. The heart monitor flatlined and all sorts of alarms went off & I thought I had killed her. Turned out she had just came unhooked (I still was mildly hysterical for a while.) She wasn't able to eat on her own for several days, so I couldn't feed her. She blew out the IV's in her arms and ended up with lines in her head. She was fabulously beautiful.
Grace should someday know how amazing Eric was during all this- he was absolutely unwavering in his faith that everything would be fine. He mastered all the NICU monitors and knew all the nurses names. He called his family and friends and bragged about how perfect his daughter was (no-one really congratulated us or sent flowers- as one crazy aunt told me, everyone was afraid she would die, and then what would we do with the flowers?). He got angry when we were treated insensitively. He got up every single hour, every single night to check oh her. He was brave enough for both of us.
Grace was only in the NICU a little over a week. She made an incredibly quick and amazing recovery. Her bad start was chalked up to prematurity, a long intensive labor and a nasty reaction to the blood pressure medication. We brought her home & she was perfect and wonderful. I was terrified that I would break her or that she would forget to breathe, but that fear only lasted the next year or two. Because of her prematurity, we had to be a little more aware of her milestones, but she managed to stay right on track for her age. She was a tiny little supergenius. And she still is.
Grace- 3 weeks old(I was already torturing her with my pathetic attempts at photography, even with my old crappy 3.2 megapixel camera. The poor kid never had a chance.)
1 comment:
Any cartoon character that shows up 50% off at Target is definately not cool any more.
Thanks for sharing Grace's story. WOW.
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