One Blonde Girl Child. Uncooperative subject of mother's attempted artsy photo shoots. Accessories include 4,000 assorted Polly Pocket pieces and an entire wardrobe of Disney Princess-themed clothing/shoes. Currently lacks all upper front teeth & must be fed a diet consisting entirely of macaroni & cheese. Persons with windows need not apply- excited screaming of child can and will break glass. Buyer must have access to unlimited amounts of glitter and pink nail polish. Price negotiable.
** Can also include additional Smallish Brunette Child Who Refuses to Look at Camera as part of a package deal.
2 comments:
Alright lady, I'm tired of this.
When you call me and say a photo shoot did NOT go well, do not show these pictures as results. Dammit, there is low-light fabulousness and BACKLIGHTING! Damn you and your backlight children.
Don't even get me started on those outfits--can Kate have them when your kids outgrow them? Sure it's hotter than hell here--fashion is pain!
(PS Duh, these are really cute. Also I will buy your kids. Just pay for plane fare) (which I originally spelled "fair") (duh)
I am sorry to inform you that you obviously have agreed to the infamous "parent contract" (one moment of madness where you mention a possible inclination to bearing a child is all that is necessary).
It means you are bound for a minimum of eighteen years (maximum of fifty-six) to deal with clothing, temper tantrums, refusal to wash, eat and/or sleep within any sort of human standards, abuse of any and all communication devices, music trends outbursts about braces, make-up, and/or boys and other regular pre-school, school, pre-adolescent, adolescent and post-adolescent mood swings and demands.
And believe it or not, after raising three kids, and from the bottom of my heart, the best of times are coming. It does get better - not easier, but better.
Honest.
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