Anger Management, Anyone?

So today's ballet recital was interesting. The girls were cute, there was lots of glitter and they got flowers and it was all good. For them.

See? Cute, right? All sparkley and curly and choke-holdy. They had fun.

Me, on the other hand- not so much. Apparently, this year they made up some rule about how no mothers would be allowed in the dressing room, except for a few designated ones assigned to rule among all the chaos. I found this out 3 days before the recital. I was not happy about this, as I am a paranoid mother who does not especially love the idea of leaving her small daughters in unknown places with unknown people. Call me crazy, but I had to push the little darlings out of my vagina, which hurt, and I am not about to lose them accidentally. Other moms were not happy about this either, especially with the choice of room mom from our class, who was called a "nazi" by another mother (a term I mostly agree with in this case.) See the hairbows on the girls heads? Not really? Well, I made them, and they did not conform to her standards of hairbow-matchiness, and it annoyed this woman (hereafter know as the "Nazi") so much that she started a personal vendetta against me. She even called me a "Rule Breaker" to another one of the moms (who promptly told me she said it, because she thought it was pretty funny) and got all huffy with me at preschool and basically just made an ass out of herself in lots of crazy high school-ish ways.

But I digress.

So anyways, I show up at the recital with my friend Heidi- also a card-carrying Paranoid Mother, pretty sure that I was going to have to provide a decent explanation as to why we would not be leaving our girls with strangers, and am met at the door by the Nazi. She physically blocked the door and started screeching at me about how I could not go in there, it was AGAINST THE RULES and tried to drag MY CHILD into the room, while simultaneously blocking me. (She also tried to grab my CAMERA BAG. (insert Harmony-in-my-head OHNOSHEDIDNT) ...Oh yes- she did.) At this point, she was hitting notes only dogs could hear, so I just told her to get over it, pushed past her & went into the dressing room. I made Heidi follow me (she had my back.) At some point my sister (who totally wanted in on this fight) told the woman to SHUT UP, which was awesome. It was a really good thing Kim showed up when she did, because it distracted the girls from all the crazy because OMG IT'S AUNT KIKI, WOOOT!

The Nazi went & got the ballet teacher, who tried to tell us that she really didn't want moms back there, but couldn't force us to leave them, so I told her fine- because we would just stay there then. Then the Nazi retreated to a corner, where she continued to yell about how SOME moms think they are SO ABOVE all the rules and RIDICULOUS, etc. (Remember- I'm a Rule Breaker.)

And this is where I get all white trashy and totally inappropriate. This is where you lose all respect for me, because I am pretty sure this was not a good idea. (And yes, it's as bad as it sounds... probably worse.)

After distracting my children, I whipped around to this woman, POINTED my FINGER in her face, and said- "if you ever EVER speak to me like that in front of my children again, I will NOT be so polite next time." I think this might have been a threat. I'm not so sure what I would've done if she hadn't shut up, because I have never a)threatened another person before or b)had to follow through on a threat, so it's a pretty new concept for me.

So I'm a little wierded out by this whole situation. Of course, my family all agreed with me about not just handing my girls off to random strangers- Eric TOTALLY agreed, he was not comfortable at all at the concept of the closed dressing room thing, so I'm hoping I did the right thing. I think I actually know I did- I am a firm believer in following my instincts where the girls are concerned, and my instincts said this situation wasn't so good. I don't feel sorry about rocking the boat a little where my girls are concerned. And it's not like they're 17 years old hanging out in a strange place- they are 4 & 5, for goodness sakes. I don't think the over-protectiveness is uncalled for when we're dealing with people who have only been able to speak in complete sentences for a couple years. Now the threatening- I'm pretty horrified by that. I seriously don't know what came over me. I could have just been a better person & kept my freaking mouth shut. On the other hand, I could've kicked her in the shins and ran away, so I think I made the right decision.

So, in the future, if you need any kneecaps broken or "messages" sent to people you are not pleased with, looks like I'm your go-to girl for that. Because apparently I'm insane. And what I said about the girls playing soccer yesterday- maybe not even that, because I guess I don't do well with people yelling at and/or dragging my kids around.

And as for "fun" activities for the girls next year- piano lessons, maybe? That sounds pretty harmless, right? (stay tuned for next years post about how I break a piano bench over an old ladies head)