Bring It, 2008 (and other random crap)

Hey, 2008- so far you suck. Maybe you should step up your game. I haven't enjoyed either the bodily injury or stomach flu that you have "blessed" me with so far, not very fun. I don't care that you're a leap year- it's not that special. Seriously, enough already. (Although I did really appreciate how you screwed up the fireworks show at the Space Needle. That was Classic.)

Wednesday afternoon I was in the girl's playroom and tripped over some freaking My Little Pony baby-walker-type piece of garbage and fell down. Not a graceful, oh-my-I'd-better-put-my-arms-out kind of fall... more a super-deluxe face plant. The wind was totally knocked out of me. And I'm sure it looked pretty awesome. At least awesome enough for my children to immediately spring into action. Within 2 minutes I was covered in a Tinkerbell blanket and had a Hello Kitty icepack stuck on the back of my head (you know, the only part of my body that had escaped injury). They then went out into the hallway to have a Very Important Conversation about what the heck to do with me NOW (me=groaning on floor) and was I going to ever be able to walk again, because I was kindof in the way of the TV. There was much concern about how they should either call Daddy or the Doctor and then they came to the conclusion that they would just Pat me for a while and wait for Daddy to get home (approximately 5 hours from then, but whatever). So I got about 3 minutes of earnest, heartfelt patting, 2 minutes of distracted, what's Spongebob doing now patting, and then they wandered away and forgot about me.

So the moral of the story is- Try not & injure yourself around my children. They don't care so much. And also, watch our for those freaking My Little Ponies, they'll get you.

And now I have the stomach flu, which I am NOT going to let make me puke. I REFUSE. I made it through two pregnancies vomit-free, a little stupid stomach thing is not going to do it. (Or maybe the stomach pain is internal bleeding from my awesome fall. Household accidents are the #1 cause of death, aren't they? Being a hypochondriac is FUN!)

In other news, our Disneyland trip is totally all booked and I have begun working on the complex matrix of maps, spreadsheets and schedules that will make up our itinerary. (This should also serve as a warning for a certain family in San Diego- Leave Town! We're coming for YOU!) I have been anal enough to subscribe to a website (www.ridemax.com) that uses statistical analysis to create the best Ride Agenda for the park. That way we won't wander around willy-nilly for five days, because our family tends to be prone to aimless wandering (and then also "conversations" between Eric & I with gritted teeth about where to go next). I am Super-Scheduler! I will Win at Disneyland! We will see Everything- even the Stupid Stuff! Hurrah!

This reminds me slightly of when I was Little, and my Dad would take us to the Zoo. We were not allowed OUT of the Zoo until we had seen EVERY EXHIBIT because, dammit, we drove all the way here and paid all that money and we would not be going until we got our dollar's worth! And then we would inefficiently wander all 4,000 acres of Woodland Park and dang, I hated that Zoo. (In this Lovely Childhood Memory I am also wearing jelly shoes.)

Today is my Cousin Jamie's Birthday. My cousin Jamie's birthdays should be celebrated much more than the average birthday, because it is pretty miraculous that she managed to grow up at all. This is mostly due to the fact that we (my sister, other cousin and I) spent a whole lot of time and energy trying to kill her in her childhood. Bored on a summer afternoon? Why not tie Jamie to a post in a field full of angry ponies? Make sure you taunt the ponies before securing the final knot, and don't forget to laugh at her from the other side of the electric fence before getting distracted by grasshoppers or something shiny and leaving her there for several hours.
By the way, where the HELL were our mothers? Probably talking on the phone to each other for two hours, even though they lived approximately 60 yards apart. Maybe if they had invented cordless phones back then, Jamie would not have suffered so much childhood trauma. Anyways- Happy Birthday, James! I'm sorry for all the times we set your hair/toys/person on fire.

That is the most ridiculously long blog post ever. See what happens when I am stuck in bed sick all day with no-one to talk to? I become wordy. And also, I am now the expert at all things Britney Spears ambulance-drama related. Because she's crazy, y'all! And although I'm pretty sure this is a stomach-flu related thing, I think I'll go take some Nyquil. Can't hurt, right?